Hi. I'm a Dummy.
Posted on May 18th, 2008
by 
Remerdre
Remerdre
I can’t deal with horror movies. I’ve never been able to. If I watch one, I can’t sleep for several nights, and I’m afraid to be alone. It can be the cheesiest horror movie ever. It could be something called “Horror in Da Hood” with Ice Cube playing Charles Manson and the Pussycat Dolls taking turns playing Jack the Ripper (those girls can only memorize about one line each), and I’ll still be lying awake at night with all the lights on and showing up bleary-eyed to work the next day.
The year The Blair Witch Project came out, the trailers alone gave me nightmares. The only thing that brought me comfort was watching clips of stand-up comedians ripping on the movie. I knew that I would never, ever be able to watch that movie.
So what happens? I’m channel-surfing on YouTube, and someone has put up the entire movie. I know it’s illegal. More importantly, I know that watching it will mess me up until about July. But my curiosity gets the better of me. And I watch the whole thing.
Not a bad movie. Had I been in the theater, I probably would have barfed from the shaky camera work. Highly innovative, considering how it was filmed. And since I already knew the storyline, and it’s still broad daylight out, I’m pretty OK. But I don’t want to spend the day alone in my apartment anymore. As soon as the laundry is done in the dryer, I’m off to the mall. I want to be surrounded by as many people as possible in a bustling, busy place.
In fact, when the mall closes, I’ll probably be clinging to a security guard’s leg, yelling, “No! We don’t have to go home yet! Keep the stores open! Let’s shop all night! We need to stay together, people! JOSH!!! JOSH WHERE ARE YOU???!!!!”
Why? Why do I do this to myself? This is not the first time I’ve given in to curiosity and watched a movie I know will give me nightmares. The whole time I was watching Blair Witch, I was thinking, “I’m a dummy. I’m a dummy. I’m a dummy.” It became a mantra. I’ll forever associate that movie with me being a dummy. But I watched it anyway.
The laundry is done. I’m going to the mall. I hope there are tons of people there. I’m a dummy.
The year The Blair Witch Project came out, the trailers alone gave me nightmares. The only thing that brought me comfort was watching clips of stand-up comedians ripping on the movie. I knew that I would never, ever be able to watch that movie.
So what happens? I’m channel-surfing on YouTube, and someone has put up the entire movie. I know it’s illegal. More importantly, I know that watching it will mess me up until about July. But my curiosity gets the better of me. And I watch the whole thing.
Not a bad movie. Had I been in the theater, I probably would have barfed from the shaky camera work. Highly innovative, considering how it was filmed. And since I already knew the storyline, and it’s still broad daylight out, I’m pretty OK. But I don’t want to spend the day alone in my apartment anymore. As soon as the laundry is done in the dryer, I’m off to the mall. I want to be surrounded by as many people as possible in a bustling, busy place.
In fact, when the mall closes, I’ll probably be clinging to a security guard’s leg, yelling, “No! We don’t have to go home yet! Keep the stores open! Let’s shop all night! We need to stay together, people! JOSH!!! JOSH WHERE ARE YOU???!!!!”
Why? Why do I do this to myself? This is not the first time I’ve given in to curiosity and watched a movie I know will give me nightmares. The whole time I was watching Blair Witch, I was thinking, “I’m a dummy. I’m a dummy. I’m a dummy.” It became a mantra. I’ll forever associate that movie with me being a dummy. But I watched it anyway.
The laundry is done. I’m going to the mall. I hope there are tons of people there. I’m a dummy.
Access: PublicTagged with: horror movies
horror movies
July 2008
I hope you got some sleep last night! I can't watch those movies either.
I did manage to sleep, thanks. There was one scary moment when the woman in the apartment upstairs turned on her vaccum cleaner, and I almost had a heart attack. Seriously, who vaccums at 1am??